PISS OFF!!!!!

Smokers:

You guys are either the most determined or the most disgusting people on the face of the earth. It could be negative 40 outside and you could give a rat’s ass. You still manage to waddle outside with your hands cupped around your lighter like a dirty begging jack ass, struggling

profusely to get it lit and then when you do, you sit out there for a good ten minutes puffing your life away. If I had to sit outside in the Canadian winter for ten minutes, I’d better be sucking on God’s dick.  It was cool in high school and it was considered a symbol of higher status in classic film, well guess what, the truth’s out, you’re killing yourself! Some say it makes you skinny and some even say it makes you feel good after sex or even after a long day… I’m sure millions of people would enjoy making love to a person who smells like their dirty uncle’s ash tray.

Lead Pencils:

Life’s way of making you stare at an object for five minutes trying to figure out why it doesn’t work. Fuck these things are useless. You’re to busy pushing out new lead rather than writing anything because they’re made so fucking thin that if I think too hard it will collapse under sheer will power. It’s supposed to make your writing look more professional and clean…Well that would be nice but I’m too occupied shoving  0.7 led into my 0.5 size pencil out of pure desperation to write anything!

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