5 easy ways to pick guys up for a friend
By Katrina Tortorici
“I like your shoes, wanna do me?” Clearly, some people are in need of a little extra help when trying to talk to that attractive somebody for the first time. These are the last words you want to blurt out when you have your eye on that dimpled, dark haired stranger sitting at the bar, unless of course your intentions are to appear easy, sleazy, and depraved. But, let us assume that you don’t.
Should you walk right up to him, and risk being viewed as alone and desperate? Should you take a seat nearby, pathetically hoping he’ll throw you a glance before the end of the night? Or, should you just enjoy the view from afar, because there is no way you will have the audacity to walk up to a perfect stranger in a poised and dignified manner? If this is the case, then all the more reason to take a leaf out of Ringo’s book and get by with a little help from your friends. If guys have wingmen (someone in charge of helping a friend pick women up on a public outing) why can’t girls?
So I decided last weekend to put my ideas into action, wondering what would happen if the girls did the initiating…Warning: Any of these methods may backfire…Except the first one.
The night began rather hopelessly. My friend Sam and I arrived at the none-too-casual Irish pub and immediately began to scan the room for future “victims.” But we were obviously being overly ambitious – it was 9:30 and the closest guy that came to a hopeful was the forty-year-old Habs fan drinking a pint at the next table. The number one rule for scouting for the appropriate target is patience, so we came to an agreement: A shared bottle of fruity red wine to toast the upcoming night – just enough to let that wonderful, tingling sensation steal across your body and lift your confidence by a subtle, but significant amount. Once the hockey game was over and the fans poured out, the new crowd settled in. Then it was time for our game to begin.
1. Haaaave you met Sam?
Classic. Yes, of course this line is stolen from Barney Stinson in the tv show How I Met Your Mother, but there is a reason it’s number one – the positive outcome is undeniable. This method never falters because it’s too charming to ignore, even in real life. And I have proof of that. Once Sam and I emptied our bottle of wine, we spotted our first victim. Easy on the eyes, tall enough, and he had an impressive build. Blondes are not my type, but Sam, being the single one, approved, so I led the way towards our mark.
As we approached him, it looked as though he was in an extremely engaging conversation with his dark haired friend (average-looking), which posed a potential problem. I knew that I needed a game plan, a way to distract his friend. The scenario went something like this:
I marched up to the blond, regardless of the fact that he was in mid-conversation (it actually had more of an effect since he was so startled), tapped him on the shoulder, and said enthusiastically, “Hi, I’m sorry! Haaaave you met Sam?” The trick here was to divert his attention to Sam. So, I grabbed her arms and placed her in front me, just as I turned to face his friend, to whom I smiled and explained that my friend had her eye on his.
It couldn’t have gone better. Sam’s guy laughed at our little skit and offered to buy her a drink. To which I have to say, bazinga.
2. If I give my friend a kiss, will you buy her a drink?
So as not appear skank-like, we walked to the nearest bar for this next one. It’s more daring than method number one, but just as promising; we didn’t even have to enter the bar to achieve our goal. Allow Sam and me to demonstrate: Across the street was a relatively small place, and to our dissatisfaction, we could see from the exterior that it was close to empty. Nevertheless, we accepted the challenge. A tall, dark man (early twenties?) stood outside on his cell phone, looking as though he was waiting for some friends. I interrupted his phone call, and said the unthinkable: “Excuse me, if I give my friend a kiss, will you buy her a drink?” His deep, brown eyes widened, his face lit up, he shut his phone without a word to the person on the line, and just nodded faintly.
Sam and I did the deed (a quick, unexciting peck) and then turned to stare back at him. He stuttered something about coming inside, we followed, and then a swarm of his friends surrounded us. A little overwhelmed, Sam and I decided we should say our goodbyes and leave as quickly as possible, but not before one of the guys named Kent blurted out, “I fuckin’ love the way you look tonight.” Perhaps my line worked a little too well.
Of course, the objective was not to come across as being a couple of girls ready to jump into bed with strangers. The aim was to have the courage to meet new people. What I found to be very interesting after this last incident, however, were the guys’ reactions. I wondered how far we were able to take it. Do guys have boundaries? At what point does it become too forward? I had a new purpose for this experiment. I kicked it up a notch.
3. My friend has a very low tolerance for alcohol.
Like any other pick-up line, this can be taken lightly, something your “opponent” can chuckle at before buying you that drink, or evidently it can be viewed as “Gee, this girl wants to get into my pants.” It was time to hear the voice of the people. I decided to ask outsiders their opinion on these various methods. “It depends on who’s saying it. If the friend is attractive, then why not? It’s a cute enough line to laugh at but also something you can kind of go with at the same time. I think it’s funny,” Joseph Wills, fourth semester Health Sciences student, said.
However, not everyone will take it as a joke. Josh, 21, charming, and also a regular at bar number one, disagreed. “It’s trashy. I have respect for women…I wouldn’t go with that.” It’s good to know some guys still have morals. It looks as though girls aren’t too impressed with it either. “No way! I would want to make my friend look good, not easy,” Karina Gangi, a first semester Cin/Vid/Com student said.
4. My friend doesn’t think you look like a good kisser. You should prove her wrong.
This usually gets a smile out of the guy straight away, although it does depend on the guy. Dave, 19 and brooding, from bar number three was puzzled. “Are you serious?” I guess not. Sam didn’t even bother answering. The two of us gave up on this one. Though maybe we should have pursued it with someone less abrasive. “If I were single, I’d definitely say, ‘well give me a chance to prove her wrong!’” Brenden Di Vittori, a first semester Cin/Vid/Com student said.
5. I’m a lesbian, but my friend isn’t.
Let’s get the optimist to answer this one: “I’m not too sure what I’d say to that. But I’d definitely try to have a threesome,” Di Vittori said.
Admittedly, this can mean many things. Does one laugh, nod and smile, go with it…or come up with a creative alternative, like Di Vittori?
So the question remains…Is it worth it for a woman to have a wing-woman? Michelle Pauze, second semester Social Science student thinks so. “It’s easier for some girls to talk to a guy when you’re with a group of friends. You’re less shy,” she said.
“Yeah, of course! You’re much more confident when you’re not alone and you have someone next to you to talk you up…But she has to be uglier than you so the guy stays interested in you,” Gangi said.
My experience shows that everyone has different views on the topic, though the majority of girls find it helpful to have a wing-woman for support. After last weekend, I not only learned that it’s reassuring to have a companion, but I also learned that first impressions count. Depending on what line you decide to use to break the ice, you can easily be viewed as either a tramp or a genuinely nice and interesting girl. It’s up to you to decide on the person you want to be. Remember ladies, it’s all about confidence. It hardly has anything to do with uttering a clever pick-line. A simple, “Hi” would suffice, as long as you do it with dignity. And, maybe a friend by your side.