What’s lacking in your General Culture

Dawson’s resident hipster Brit shares his Montreal culture

by some hipster

Dawson, you lack culture. You cry at the drop of a name and you haven’t danced since the Black Eyed Peas came to Montreal. Your nights out take you to Videotron, you cried when you watched Happy Feet and your lack of intellectual discussion explains your bad breath; black coffee and unfiltered cigarettes explain mine. Pack up your empty social baggage and let’s go on an adventure.
Let me guide you through what you would have missed this week, if I hadn’t decided to drag you along as you tweet your newfound cultural/social life to the world.

Most of what you listen to was written to sell ringtones. Set aside your cellular symphonies and get your legs moving. You’re into dancy-fast-paced math rock? Get your tickets for the Foals at La Sala Rossa on Sept. 28. Missed Of Montreal because you were too busy at Osheaga? Don’t even know what the heaven Of Montreal is? Look em’ up and then get your ironic little self to see Iji, the next best thing after Of Montreal, at Divan Orange TONIGHT! Feeling an ever-creeping nostalgia for your punk-rock youth? You can mosh again to SingleDigitIQ on Friday at Death House on St-Remi for only $3. Don’t feel like going out but your Ipod needs an update? Here are some great bands to look up depending on your particular style:

Electronic/Noize: You Love Her Coz She’s Dead, sound like Crystal Castles if Alice Glass sang in the stead of just wallowing.

Folk: Learn your roots! Download some Woodie Guthrie. Buying it wouldn’t be ironic.

Indie: The Unicorns. Every Indie artist you listen to listens to the Unicorns. Also put aside your over-corns. Also put aside your over-played Artic Monkeys album and listen to The Thirst for a fresh new take on Brit-Indie Rock.
Pop: Hype yourself up for POP Montreal and let Camera Obscura take you to their version of the 60’s.

Don’t let your fear of novelty take the best of you, let your sleepover crash and roll to the side of the loud kids. For the sake staying out of trouble I’ll be vague: Track Team’s back again with a killer rave on Friday. Look up Montreal Style on Facebook. Then shift your UK television dreams towards reality and come to the Skins Secret Party at a classified location near Laurier Metro. Bring a costume and look the venue up on Facebook, it’ll be posted 48 hours before the event.

Stop quoting books you were forced to read in Intro to English and cease ditching novels for the movie adaptations. No! You don’t actually have something better to do. The end of the world would simply lead to your inability to blog. Speaking of post-apocalyptical matters, pick up a novel by John Windham. His stuff is easy to read, yet War of the World shits its trousers in the presence of his sci-fi novels. Want a quick read? Look for his The Wheel, pull out your pipe, make tea and read a short story masterpiece.

Next time: Theatre, Movies, Restaurants and more shows.

Divan Orange, 4234 boulevard Saint-Laurent, Mount-Royal Metro

Cabaret Just pour rire, 2111 Boul St-Laurent, Mount-Royal Metro


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