They can’t all be doctors

By: Dahlia Belinski

This is my third semester at Dawson in Sciences. I’m sad to say that we are labeled pretentious over achievers. Too bad this is an absolute truth. In fact, I’m not sad at all, I fucking hate science kids and they give us every reason to.

1. They are pretentious. Do not get stuck with a with a science kid in one of your English or Humanities classes. The moment any form of debate arises they will take the teacher’s side even if they are saying that child trafficking is the most honourable way of making money, they will defend the point just to kiss the teacher’s ass. These are the same assholes, who when asked what program they’re in they don’t say Sciences, they say, “First Choice” as if any of you will become doctors.

2. They ask the dumbest questions. I don’t mean literally they ask a stupid ass question like, “what’s a formula?” (true story) I mean questions that are actually statements. No one wants to hear about how you read the textbook along with the 14 other editions and are now showing off your knowledge. If the teacher asks you for the answer, just say it, don’t continue with, “Well based on Gauss’ work we can establish that the volume of a third degree function can be found by using the shell method.” Shut up. I’m begging you, you make my ears bleed.  POP QUIZ! If you corrected what I just said, you are the type of science student I’m talking about.

3. They constantly raise their hand. It is an unspoken rule at Dawson that no students will speak in the last five minutes, because at 5:15, class is over and everyone needs to leave at that time. Science kids have apparently never heard this rule and they think that the most important information is given between 5:15 – 5:30 p.m. You know what else is important? Me, not kicking over a desk and telling you to politely shut the fuck up.

4. They wear their lab coats outside of class. You don’t look smart, you look like you’re cold, but are too poor to afford a sweater.

5. They will never share their notes, even if you just broke up with your boyfriend and needed a day to cry, even if you are in the hospital because your whole family was killed in a fire and you are lying in bed with 10th degree burns the answer will always be no. Do you have the rough draft of your NC-17 Harry Potter fanfiction? Probably, but you can still lend people your notes.

The only way the sciences could be more pretentious is if we had our own newspaper/journal. A student should ask if there can be a science collaboration for cogito.

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