4th and Long

By Chris Pike

With the recent signing of Antti Niemi by the San Jose Sharks there’s now a glimmer of hope for cup contention this upcoming season.  We all know what a Sharks fan does when their team wins the cup… watches the credits roll and turns off the XBox.

Red Wings star Henrik Zetterberg recently got married and took an old-timey picture with all of his guests. He then proceeded to have lights-off, missionary-style, old-timey sex with his wife.

Bob Bradley, head coach of the US National Soccer team has expressed his interest in coaching the team through to the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. Hopefully they can have another magical run all the way to the second round.

Recently appointed captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Dion Phaneuf, told the press a few days ago that “Toronto is a Playoff team.” … Sometimes these jokes just write themselves.

A photo of Justin Bieber playing hockey as a child was recently released. It’s now obvious to everyone that he grew his bangs out to hide the bruises from the other kids punching him in the face.

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