Piss OFF!

by Tyler Finigan

Dude playing guitar in the lower atrium

No one needs their own soundtrack when they come out from the bathroom. Do you even have class? You’re always fucking there! Not once have I come out of the metro and haven’t seen your Nickleback face playing the same song over and over again on that string box you call a guitar. I looove busking, but the acoustic, mysterious guitarist is starting to get old. One day, I want someone to hook up an amp and whip out a key-tar! I’m not against the whole “I can play whenever and whatever I want,” and I appreciate music more than others, but when I have to hear kumbaya one more fucking time I’m going take that guitar and melt cheese all over it so that you can realize how much stink and cheese your playing really is.

Auto Tune

I’m going to have to pick sides with Jay-Z on this one. This tricky tool is used way too much now. I’ve grown sick and tired of hearing it. What is so amazing about sounding like Steven Hawking on acid? Not too long ago it was used by artists to sound clearer for melodies and harmonies but, now, it’s used to make money. There are performers using auto tune all the time because they’re too lazy to fucking sing! I thought this obsession would stay under the top hat of mainstream rap and popular music. I thought it was going to be a quick fad, a pittance of time, but no. Auto tune has seeped its way into almost every genre. The other day I heard a metal song; I was digging it, then some electro chipmunk shit started singing vocals. Needless to say, I’m pissed off. I think That Guitar boy should start singing in auto tune, just so I can punch auto tune in the face!
…And that’s what pissed me off this week

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