Flush Shit

by Olivia Benaroche

This is an official complaint in regards to the state of Dawson’s girls’ washrooms: Every time I open the germ-infested doors to the girls’ washrooms, regardless of what floor I’m on, I am greeted with the wafting smell of feces and moldy tiles. Considering it’s a public washroom, there is no surprise here – but the problem goes beyond a nasty stench.

Bad enough that one of my senses has to suffer every time I enter these intolerable bathrooms but, even worse than having to block my nose, is the privilege and pleasure I have of walking in to find someone else’s unflushed shit, chilling in the toilet bowl below me.  Sometimes, if I get lucky enough, they even leave a tampon for me to feast my eyes upon.

I don’t know who made up the expression “if it’s yellow let it mellow,” but some of Dawson’s women seem to be taking it a little too seriously. (Not to mention that they don’t even flush it down when it’s brown). Now, I know you’re probably thinking, “Ew, who is this gross girl and why is she talking about shit?” Well folks, I use precise image detail only to emphasize just how disgusted I feel when I come face to face with this “problem.”

So why do these serial shitters feel the need to showcase their artwork in every bathroom of the school? Seriously, though, it’s a question that’s been boggling my mind since I first set foot in Dawson, and I feel that it’s time to bring awareness to the fucking dumbasses who seemingly “forget” to flush when they’re done their duty.

So, TO ALL THE SERIAL SHITTERS INVADING DAWSON’S GIRLS’ WASHROOMS:

Somebody please tell me, ‘cause I would REALLY love to know, WHAT THE FUCK is going through your mind when you don’t flush after making a #2? Like, what the fuck are you thinking? Is it a territorial thing? Like, “Oh, I’ll just leave it floating around so everyone knows I was here!” Or are you just too fucking lazy and inconsiderate to flush the toilet? Anyone? Somebody please explain it to me, ‘cause I’m seriously dying to know why, in an institute where the students are of a minimum age of 17, there are still girls who don’t know what to do after wiping (if they even do that).

Allow me to set the record straight: There is a silver knob attached to each toilet: PUSH IT DOWN ONCE THE WIPING PROCESS HAS BEEN TERMINATED. IS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH?!?

And let it also be noted that I speak only on behalf of the girls because I have not yet had the experience of entering the men’s washroom here at Dawson; although I’m sure there are a few male culprits guilty of the same serial shitting crime.

So please, have some courtesy the next time you go make potty, AND FLUSH THE GODDAMN TOILETS! FUCK IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD.

YOU’VE PASSED THE AGE OF 10, FUCK. WHAT IS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED?!

Yours truly,
Olivia Benaroche

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