Word In The Herd

What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever gotten?

Everyone gets my hopes up by saying ‘go for it, talk to him’ and then I get dumped.”
Jessica D. – Fourth Semester – Law and Society
My heart goes out to you. But honestly, stop listening to ‘everyone’, which is clearly just your dumb, desperately single friends. If you have no idea what you’re doing, don’t go for it and for the love of god, don’t talk to him.

“My friends are wise, they don’t give bad advice.”
Jana B. – Fourth Semester – General Social
Oh my god, like, I can’t believe your luck! You have, like, the best BFFLs! That’s really cute but also a blatant lie. Everyone has a collection of dumb, tactless, insensitive friends who like to make retarded comments about relationships. You’re just really, really naive.

“Pretend it didn’t happen.”
Alexandra M. – Fourth Semester – International Business
Denial is the ticket. I would like you to pretend that this advice never happened. That the person you know who gave you this advice never happened and that you would make sure that this person does not spread this shit advice to anyone else. Stop this madness, you have the power.

“Get drunk. And if getting drunk doesn’t help, get f***ing trashed.”
Ben L.- Fourth Semester – Cinema and Communications
Ok. No. For breakups, this advice is extremely valid. Unless this advice came to you at the beginning of your relationship…in which case I understand why this would lead to your ass being dumped.

“To be yourself.”
Andrew C. – First Semester – Law and Society
You young, innocent soul. I feel like you’re one of those kids who hangs out in the dark corner under the escalators, strumming on your guitar, crying about that last girl who ripped your heart out. Maybe that’s why being yourself is so unnattractive. Otherwise, being yourself is pretty good.

“Stalk him on Facebook first, then you can start a relationship.”
Clara H. – Second Semester – Cinema and Communications
Whoever gave you this piece of advice is exceptionally creepy. I cannot stress enough how creepy Facebook stalking induced relationships are. Facebook is the spawn of evil. However, if he has more profile pictures than you do, half of which are of his abs in the bathroom mirror…you might want to rethink your attraction.

“Be an asshole. Girls like assholes and if you’re too nice they won’t like you.”
Jonathan B. – Second Semester – Cinema and Communications
Douchebags get all the hot chicks. It’s a proven fact of life. If you go around acting like you’re the shit and treating people like crap, chances are you’ve got a few hoes lined up for your weekend. The best part about this though is that it’s really easy for smart girls to avoid wasting their time. Girls like assholes for the cheap thrills, but they stay with the nice ones.


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