What did you do over your study break?
Won a gold medal, I play for Dawson’s A Basketball team.”
Connor H – Fourth Semester – Commerce
Good for you Connor! And good for the rest of the Dawson A Basketball Team! I’m sure the seven people who read the sports section will definitely enjoy hearing about this. Maybe seven is a little generous, in fact I’m suspicious that this isn’t you Connor and sports editor Sean Tepper is just trying to advertise for the loneliest section in The Plant. I’m on to you Sean… watch out.
“Went to Paris, it was so crap, I was sick.”
Arnold V. – Fourth Semester – Fine Arts
It’s probably the fact that you went to goddamn France that made you sick. Why would you go to a country where they enjoy cheese that smells like feet and that women don’t shave? You know that they eat snails there? The whole country is seriously fucked, no wonder it took no time at all for the Nazis to take over.
“Had more time for my favorite pass-time, jerking off!”
Jacob P – Fourth Semester – Pure and Applied
All I have to say about you is that you are one classy individual. Maybe you and Brian Lapuz should sit down and talk technique. You don’t have anything better to do with your time? Learn an instrument? Go to church? Find a solution for the Israeli Palestinian conflict?
“Put out fires, tried to do homework and a lot of commuting.”
Andrea L. – Second Semester – Interior Design
What a fucking surprise! Who would have thought Johnny Depp would have made it onto the list of bangable celebs?! Holy shit people let’s have some imagination, where are the Kris Kristofferson’s? The Willem Dafoe’s? The Helen Mirren’s? Seriously Dawson, step your shit up.
“Robert Pattinson. Just because everyone else wants to.”
Grace T – Fourth Semester – Literarure
Oh so yours was a totally average break then… ASIDE FROM PUTTING OUT FIRES! Why in the hell were you near a fire in the first place and what possessed you to attempt to put it out? I’m glad you saved lives or whatever though. You still shouldn’t be playing with fire, at least call the authorities or Smoky the Bear. He’s a bear, and bears mean fucking business, unless they’re hibernating, of course.
“Planned on writing my essays, then didn’t.”
Laura C – Sixth Semester – Languages
Wow, what a surprise that the girl in her SIXTH semester didn’t do her work. Either you’re really indecisive about what you want to do, or you’re lazy as fuck. I’m betting on the second one. You know if you continue like this your family will probably disown you and CEGEP will end up being the best ten years of your life.
“Sang some karaoke with my grandma and her friends.”
Krystel M – Fourth Semester – Liberal Arts
This is probably some of the most exciting shit I have ever heard in my life. I hope to god you had knitting contests and drank prune juice. You wild and crazy gals. Who says the pretentious douchebags in Liberal Arts don’t know how to let loose and party! Way to prove ‘em wrong Krystel.