by Tyler Finigan
People who are loud in the morning
Have you ever had one of those mornings when you want to be invisible and let the day pass you by because all you want to do is sleep? You just want to be left alone. But, instead, you find the only person on earth who’s wide awake at 7:30 in the morning. You know, that one friend of yours who loves to talk, but doesn’t realize that it’s a one way conversation. It’s like having breakfast with Barney the purple dinosaur. I mean, I was all for early mornings with Barney when I was a toddler, but now I’m in college, I’d rather punch myself in the stomach to induce diarrhoea so I can run away from Mr. Happy. What puzzles me the most is how cheerful these people are. What do they do when they wake up? Eat a peanut butter and crack sandwich? The whole time they’re with you, you’re looking for a switch that will shut them up, but they keep yakking you to insanity, to the point where you need to focus on something else so you don’t commit suicide. I’m already pissed off that I had to wake up at six o’clock in the morning and head to school, so the last thing I fucking need so early in the morning is a 400 decibel auctioneer digging out my ear drums. So, the next time I’m groggy as hell and not in the mood for anything and I hear this asshole, I’m going to scissor kick him in the trachea so that he can never blab about his Facebook status again!
… And that’s what pissed me off this week.