Rants Of The Week

bitch… clean ‘yo shit uuup!

by Melina Giubilaro

Japan’s All Nippon Airways (ANA) is launching female-only toilets on most of its international routes as of next month. I’m sure a lot of women are very happy to hear this; but, let me be totally honest. As women, we are much dirtier in a bathroom than men. There, I said it!

When I go into a ladies room at Dawson, there is always about a foot of toilet paper on the floor. No matter what level you’re on, every stall is D-I-R-T-Y. The toilet seats are covered in sticky goo and the trash cans are overflowing with crap and used pads/tampons.
As women, we squat because we don’t like to sit down; we don’t know who’s been there before us. But, I just want you to imagine that when you hover, sometimes you leave something behind, and guess who has to clean that up? The next person in?  NOPE, IT’S ME!
I’ll tell you why I have to clean your shit up. I can’t just leave the bathroom stall. People who go in after me will say “oh my gosh, look what she did on the seat” and I’m not going to say “that wasn’t me; that’s somebody else’s mess.” I came in the dirty stall so now I’m cleaning up. I’m cleaning up after dirty, dirty girls.

Why can’t you just clean up? Or, maybe try aiming for the toilet bowl for a change. Isn’t there a saying: what boys can do, girls can do better? Well, let me say that Dawson men sure know how to aim better than the ladies.

I understand that women use the washroom a lot more often than men do. We put on make-up, brush hair, change tampons, and gossip. But, honestly, why is it that after I clean up the toilet seat, do my business, clean it again, and  come out of the stall to wash my hands to see hair and toilet paper on the counter? It looks like somebody shaved. Is it not enough to have to clean the shit you left on the bowl and now I have to clean the counters? You’re probably thinking that’s the janitor’s problem; but no it isn’t. I have to clean your shit because you don’t know what clean means. Weren’t you potty trained?  Not to mention, I have nowhere to put my books because, apparently, women like to wash their hands on the counters instead of in the sink. Why are the counters always wet? This is a question I ask myself at least three times a day.

Every single time I go into the washroom, I am appalled. Women are, by far, grosser in the bathroom then men. All I know is that a lot of women feel they are too good to clean up their own mess. Seriously, if you tinkle on the seat, please, and I mean this, wipe it down.  I can’t stress this enough. God bless the janitors.


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