Questions? Leave It To The Skanks

Dear Skanks,
In your professional opinion, how big is too big in terms of penis size?
Wondering inches/Languages/Second Semester

Dear Wondering inches,
Well homegirl, once you reach my high level of skankiness then you will be able to take and enjoy some real mandigos. But, honestly considering that the average penis size in North America is approximately six inches, I would say that about 7.5 to 8.5 is good times. Anything above and including nine is way to big for anyone not experienced enough. Hope this helps.

Xxx
Skanks

Dear Skanks,
I was having sex the other day and my boyfriend’s penis started bleeding profusely. We looked it up on the internet and we found out that he tore his frenulum. Apparently, the best     solution from here is for him to get circumcised, but adult circumcision  hurts like a bitch. We could also not have sex for a month, what do you suggest?
Reverse-Cherry-Popper/Illustration and design/ Fourth Semester

Dear, Reverse-Cherry-Popper
No sex in a month! Are you crazy? Listen honey, I think your boyfriend should get circumcised. It does hurt like a bitch but tell him to think of all the advantages. First, it is easier to clean a cut penis. Second, it helps to prevent urinary track infections and third, don’t forget that God implemented circumcision with Abraham as a sign of the Covenant between God and man. That must mean something, right?  All in all, if you and your boyfriend can go without sex for a month then be my guess but don’t forget sex is bliss.

Xxx Skanks

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2 responses to “Questions? Leave It To The Skanks

  1. Huh? 70% of the world’s men manage juuust fine without having parts of their pen1s cut off.

    Your reasons for circumcising are all wrong:

    1) It takes like two seconds in the shower to clean an intact pen1s. Female gen1tals are way harder to clean, but we don’t cut parts of those off.
    2) Women get four times as many UTI’s as men, but we don’t cut parts of them off.
    3) If you’re Christian, then read the freakin New Testament. About 90% of the world’s Christian do *not* circumcise. For Catholics, it’s actually a sin. Why would a God create it if he wanted you to cut it off?

    Don’t forget that circumcision removes the most sensitive parts of the pen1s. No, the foreskin is not just there to protect the glans – the glans isn’t especially sensitive at all. Even on a circumcised man, the glans isn’t the most sensitive part (it’s normally the scar line, or the frenulum if that wasn’t removed).

    I just googled “torn frenulum treatment”, and most people seem to say that it will heal without treatment. You just need to take it very easy for a week or two. Use a condom and lots of lube.

  2. Circumcision for a torn frenulum? That would be like taking off the convertible top and throwing it away because a stone had hit the windshield!

    Just let it heal. if it happens again, see a doctor who might just make the slightest nick in it. If he talks about circumcision, find another doctor, that one is scalpel-happy (and maybe more than a little kinky).

    As for your other reasons:-
    An intact penis is not only easy but FUN to keep clean.
    Urinary Tract (sic) Infections occur in one little boy in 100, rarely in adults, and then they are treated without surgery, just as in women.
    Don’t know how much theology you want here, but scholars agree Abraham wasn’t historical, and Christians agree that the New Testament superseded the Old one. (See Gal 5: 2)

    And many men who got circumcised in adulthood found they’d had the bliss cut off too.

    My apologies if your whole reply was tongue-in-cheek (or something-in-something), but the US propensity to recommend circumcision at the slightest provocation or none suggests it wasn’t.

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