Bitch Slap’d

by Bianca Brais


The most recent argument I had with my best friend was over the stupidest thing ever. I don’t even know how this topic came up, but we were debating where Calgary was. She insisted it was in California, while I disagreed, saying it was in Texas. My dad looked at us with a blank look, he seemed ashamed to know us, “Calgary’s in Canada,” he said. “Oh.” We exchanged a look of embarrassment. Although, I still think I was closer saying it was in Texas than California!

Stupid blonde moments, they happen to everyone! I don’t know why they’re called Blond moments though, I have black hair, the furthest color from yellow and I take it as a real insult when people ask me, “Are you sure your hair roots aren’t blonde?” Or the “Wow, you definitely should have blond hair,” comment. If I get offended by it, I can’t imagine how defensive blonde girls must get. 

What is a blond moment anyways? I’d say it’s anything stupid that comes out of a girl’s mouth. But according to Urban Dictionary, a blonde moment is NOT something stupid. There are three types of blonde moments. The first type is the accidental blonde, where any other coloured hair girl asks a stupid question or forgets something very obvious. 

Girl # 1: Where the hell are my sunglasses?

Girl # 2: They’re on your head!

The second type is called, “Blondieus Momentum,” the girl is usually blonde. In this case, the girl asks something so ridiculous; that a five year old could have figured it out.

Teacher: Look, it’s raining again.

Girl: It’s like there’s water falling from the sky!

Finally, the last kind of blonde. It basically has to do with forgetting something you already knew.

Girl: Woo, I actually forgot how to turn the oven on for a minute!

Good old blonde moments. Somethings in life we can’t escape. Hopefully no blonde girl gets insulted when she reads this. Because blondes have to realize they have a reputation, I don’t know if it’s scientifically proven, but blonde haired girls have a status of being dumber than your average redhead. My friend dyed her hair blonde, every day, it seems like her IQ is dropping. I don’t mean any offence in any of this, truthfully, I’ve always secretly wished I had platinum hair. But that dream is far from coming true. But anyways, blonds have more fun, right?


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