To be a “Lapin Chaud”: To be a man who has game. In this case, more game than you. This is why they call me the Lapin Chaud
The Museum Party
The McCord Museum on Sherbrooke was rented out by three people celebrating their 18th birthday. To afford this venue, provide alcohol for 200 people, get bartenders and hire DJs, it would cost 20$ per guest. I was not invited.
Being the weasel that I am, I found a way to get in AND avoid the 20$ fee. My homie, Prettywood, was DJing the event so I came as his “manager”. I got myself free booze for the evening. This is a dangerous concept for anyone, but even more so if you’re me. I decided since I wasn’t paying for anything, I needed to push myself to see how much I could drink without passing out or dying. I expressed my thoughts to a friend who bet me that I couldn’t drink ten drinks in three hours without puking. The conditions were:
1)Every drink’s content had to be 50% hard liquor and 50% mixture
2)I had to have the same drink ten times (Gin & Tonic)
3)I was not allowed to puke
4)The bartender had to certify the legitimacy of the drink by marking my hand
I arrived with Prettywood, the organizers, and the birthday group to set up for the event. Once the party started, everyone rushed to the bar. I had four drinks in me by that point. The bartender was aware of my bet so when he saw me he hooked me up. After two hours the crowd died down and I had only finished six drinks. Somehow I had to drink four more in one hour. Anyone who likes gin, or has tasted a gin and tonic, knows that it’s not only strong but also extremely bitter. This makes it very hard to chug, but I had to. Once I finished drink #8 I was drunker than your dad at his bachelor party. I was ready to give up because I knew if I had #9 and #10 I would puke, pass out, be rushed to the hospital, and have my stomach pumped. My friends were aware of this bet and their encouragement to finish was overwhelming, so, I ordered the last two. Within 5 minutes, they were gone and so was my balance, my eyesight, and my common sense.
I went to sit with one of my best friends whom we’ll call Incredibleass. Hooking up with besties is always a tough call to make, but with this much booze in a person, any decision becomes brainless. We went to a secluded area in the museum that was under construction. This area was not safe to say the least; it was dark and dusty, nails and sharp wood chips were scattered on the floor, along with heavy-duty construction equipment.
The sloppiest make-out sesh you’ve ever seen ensued. After stumbling about, making expensive shit fall over, we finally lay down on a tarp and the question arose: “Do you want to have sex?” FML. What a dilemma, having sex with your best friend… My brain yelled: DO IT! My body yelled: PUKE AND SLEEP! We didn’t nail. Weak decision, I know.
The exit we chose to leave by was closed off by a foldable wall. We tried to squeeze by without being noticed. That failed. The foldable wall fell onto six people. She went to dance and I went to the bar to have four more drinks before getting into a cab and throwing up on my neighbor’s driveway upon arrival.