4th and Long

by Sean Tepper

The Oakland Raiders signed their best offensive player to one of the richest deals in NFL history…that is one of the richest deals for a kicker. That’s right, undead Al Davis finally made an intelligent move, and signed kicker Sebastian Janikowski to a four-year, $16 million contract, which includes $9 million in guaranteed money. A fun but sad fact, is that since 2007, Janikowski has scored more than twice the amount of points (290 pts.) than hapless quarterback JaMarcus Russell (114 pts.) who can’t even throw a proper screen pass, and is making $61,000,000 (roughly 3 times as much as Janikowski).
Former convict/wide receiver Donte’ Stallworth, whose contract with the Cleveland Browns was terminated last week, signed a one-year contract with the Baltimore Ravens. For those of you who don’t remember, Stallworth pleaded guilty to manslaughter while driving under the influence of alcohol and got 30 days in prison. Manslaughter! For those of you social science students that don’t understand this term, it means that he killed a man. Should the NFL have reinstated a murderer? That’s up for you to decide.
Everyone knows that Alexandre Bilodeau won the first gold medal on Canadian soil last week, but what most people don’t know is that he beat out the clear favourite and World Cup leader Dale Begg-Smith of Australia. Another fun fact is that Begg-Smith quit the Canadian ski program because it clashed with his business interest. Karma’s a bitch.
Apparently New York Yankees pitcher C.C Sabathia said that he would take Lebron James on a tour of NYC if it would get him to play for the Knicks. It seems hard to believe that C.C would leave his couch for anything short of a trip to Burger King.
Former Power Ranger turned MMA fighter Jason David Frank told TMZ.com that he has been wanting to fight Jean-Claude Van Damme for 15 years over what he did to him 1995  premiere of “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie.” The green/white ranger claimed his “childhood hero” blew him off. Can anyone say “it’s morphin time?”


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