Don’t be a douche on Valentine’s Day

by Gage Wheatley

Alright Dawson boys, you spend every day of your lives being huge d-bags at school, so maybe just for this one day you could just not be, right? 

don’t pop your collar

Dressing well is fundamental to not being a douche. Try to impress your date or possible “buddy” for the night. Leave the Ed Hardy or Affliction shirts at home, along with your baseball caps, sweatpants and whatever else you think might look good. Valentine’s will be the day you leave everything you think you know about looking good at home. Get a button-up shirt, nice plants and shoes and maybe you won’t incite anger in everyone around you while on your date.

guidos are no-nos

Basically, don’t be a dick, don’t check out other girls, don’t act like you’re the greatest thing to happen to your woman, because really, you’re not, she can do much better. So just stfu for a change.
I know you love to behave like huge bitches at school, but guess what: being a bitch that wears the same clothing as every other girl don’t make you no prettier.
Let me take a wild guess at what is in your clothing repertoire… UGGs… various sweatpants… and a Canada Goose jacket, yes? I know, I’m amazing. Well it’s Valentine’s day, so I can only HOPE you’ll be leaving all of these things at home. High heels, a nice dress or skirt, try to look presentable, okay? You want to arouse the guy, not confuse him by wearing boots from Australia, a jacket for the Arctic, and workout pants—you might hurt his brain. Oh and don’t be skanky.
please remember
You’re lucky that someone even agreed to take you out on a date. So don’t be stuck-up like I know you like to be, and again, pleeeeeease don’t be a bitch. I hate bitches.


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